writer’s block

The other day at work, I was attempting to write an email inviting my coworkers to partake in another coworker’s baby shower when suddenly it felt like I was in the midst of a twenty page grad paper. As hard as I tried, the sentences would not come. Instead, words fell clunky and clumsily from my fingers, across the keyboard, and onto my all too daunting computer screen. These words were highlighted and then deleted, only to be typed again. Over and over this process occurred. And at that moment I realized how long it had been since I’d written anything more than a standard E-mail to a client.

As depressing as this thought was, what was maybe the most depressing was my reaction to it. I shrugged it off not once stopping to think how sad it was that I could no longer craft a simple conversational note when once all I wanted to do was write. I remember simply thinking “oh, this is just part of getting older.” “This” referring to the process of letting go off all the big plans that come with being younger.

But stop right there! This belief is exactly where my problems lie. Don’t you see! I’ve always let dichotomies rule my life more than they should. This either-or syndrome dominated much of my thinking growing up, and still continues to guide too many of my actions these days. The most obvious example? My inability to blog. Canadian Love Song was bound so tightly to a certain time in my life and the sort of growing that can only ever occur when single in your early twenties. And now, I sometimes feel so far removed from that girl I used to be that I have a hard time believing I have anything left to write about.

However, even if I don’t yet know what exactly it is that I want to say, I know that I must still find the time to write something somewhere. And this may simply be so I don’t get hit with a case of E-mail writer’s block at work anymore, or more importantly, to serve as a way for me to work through the new challenges and questions I face in my life today. My stories may not be as juicy as they once were, but they’ll probably be a lot less emo, too.

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